17 Things that change forever when you live abroad - reposted from Facebook

17 THINGS THAT CHANGE FOREVER WHEN YOU LIVE ABROAD

by Angie Castells  4/06/2014 | 8:22 1,003 Posted in Recursos para viajeros 

I saw this blog post linked on Facebook and thought how appropriate and true it is. Just thought I would share it. Item #6 reminds me of the time this past Christmas break when Mark & I were home in the States.  After eating lunch in a Mexican restaurant, I said XieXie (Chinese for Thank You) to our waitress and realized I had used the wrong language. ~ Cheryl

I originally wrote and published this article in Spanish.

As we brace ourselves to move abroad for the third time in a few years, I look back and I know that squeezing our lives into a suitcase and leaving our native Barcelona was the best decision that we could have possibly made. Because when you move away, when you turn your life into a journey filled with uncertainty, you grow up in unexpected ways.

You face new challenges, you get to know parts of you you didn’t know existed, you’re amazed at yourself and at the world. You learn, you broaden your horizons. You unlearn, and after coming down and embracing a few lessons, you start growing in humility. You evolve. You feel homesick… and you shape memories that will stay with you forever. If you’ve ever lived away from home or embarked on a long journey, I’m sure you too have felt these 17 things that change forever when you live abroad.

1. Adrenalin becomes part of your life.

From the moment you decide to move abroad, your life turns into a powerful mix of emotions – learning, improvising, dealing with the unexpected… All your senses sharpen up, and for a while the word “routine” is dismissed from your vocabulary to make space for an ever rising adrenalin thrill ride. New places, new habits, new challenges, new people. Starting anew should terrify you, but it’s unusually addictive.

2. But when you go back… everything looks the same.

That’s why, when you get a few days off and fly back home, it strikes you how little everything has changed. Your life’s been changing at a non-stop pace, and you’re on holidays and ready to share all those anecdotes you’ve been piling up. But, at home, life’s the same as ever. Everyone keeps struggling with their daily chores, and it suddenly strikes you: life won’t stop for you.

3. You lack the (and yet you have too many) words.

When someone asks you about your new life, you lack the right words to convey all you’re experiencing. Yet later, in the middle of a random conversation, something reminds you about ‘that time when’…, and you have to hold your tongue because you don’t want to overwhelm everyone with stories from your ‘other country’ and come across as pretentious.

© Copyright by the artist Rune Guneriussen

4. You come to understand that courage is overrated.

Lots of people will tell you how brave you are – they too would move abroad if they weren’t so scared. And you, even though you’ve been scared, too, know that courage makes up about 10% of life-changing decisions. The other 90% is purely about wanting it with all your heart. Do you want to do it, do you really feel like doing it? Then do it. From the moment we decide to jump, we’re no longer cowards nor courageous – whatever comes our way, we deal with it.

«It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.»

5. And, suddenly, you’re free.

You’ve always been free, but freedom feels different now. Now that you’ve given up every comfort and made it work thousands of miles away from home… you feel like you’re capable of anything!

6. You no longer speak one particular language.

Sometimes you unintentionally let a word from another language slip. Other times you can only think of a way of saying something… with that perfect word which, by the way, is in the wrong language. When you interact with a foreign language on a daily basis, you learn and unlearn at the same time. All the while you’re soaking up cultural references and swear words in your second language, you find yourself reading in your mother tongue so it won’t get rusty. Like that time when Homer took a home winemaking course and forgot how to drive.

7. You learn to say goodbye… and to enjoy yourself.

You soon realize that now, most things and people in your life are just passing through, and you instinctively play down the importance of most situations. You perfect the right balance between bonding and letting go – a perpetual battle between nostalgia and pragmatism.

8. You have two of everything.

Two SIM cards (one of them packed with phone numbers from all over the world), two library cards, two bank accounts… And two types of coins, which always end up mysteriously mixing when you’re about to pay for something.

9. Normal? What’s normal?

Living abroad, like traveling, makes you realise that ‘normal’ only means socially or culturally accepted. When you plunge into a different culture and a different society, your notion of normality soon falls apart. You learn there are other ways of doing things, and after a while, you too take to that habit you never thought you’d embrace. You also get to know yourself a little better, because you discover that some things you really believe in, while others are just a cultural heritage of the society you grew up in.

10. You become a tourist in your own city.

That tourist trap you may not have visited in your country only adds up to the never-ending list of things to do in your new home, and you soon become quite the expert on your new city. But when someone comes over for a few days and asks for some suggestions, you find it really hard to recommend but a few things – if it were up to you, you’d recommend visiting everything!

Part of the book «Oh, the places you’ll go!», by Dr. Seuss.

11. You learn how to be patient… and how to ask for help.

When you live abroad, the simplest task can become a huge challenge. Processing paperwork, finding the right word, knowing which bus to take. There’s always moments of distress, but you’re soon filled with more patience than you ever knew you had in you, and accept that asking for help is not only inevitable, but also a very healthy habit.

12. Time is measured in tiny little moments.

It’s as if you were looking through the car window – everything moves really slowly at the back, in the distance, while in front of you life passes by at full speed. On the one hand, you receive news from home – birthdays you missed, people who left without you getting the chance to say goodbye one last time, celebrations you won’t be able to attend. On the other hand, in your new home life goes by at top speed. Time is so distorted now, that you learn how to measure it in tiny little moments, either a Skype call with your family and old friends or a pint with the new ones.

13. Nostalgia strikes when you least expect it.

A food, a song, a smell. The smallest trifle can overwhelm you with homesickness. You miss those little things you never thought you’d miss, and you’d give anything to go back to that place, even if it were just for an instant. Or to share that feeling with someone who’d understand you…

14. But you know it’s not where, but when and how.

Although deep down, you know you don’t miss a place, but a strange and magical conjunction of the right place, the right moment and the right people. That year when you traveled, when you shared your life with special ones, when you were so happy. There’s a tiny bit of who you were scattered among all the places you’ve lived in, but sometimes going back to that place is not enough to stop missing it.

15. You change.

I’m sure you’ve heard about life-changing trips. Well, they’re not a commonplace – living abroad is a trip that will profoundly change your life and who you are. It will shake up your roots, your certainties and your fears. Living in Edinburgh changed us forever in many ways, and if it weren’t for that experience, we probably wouldn’t be about to embark on our next life adventure right now. Maybe you won’t realise it, or even believe it, before you do it. But after some time, one day you’ll see it crystal clear. You’ve evolved, you’ve got scars, you’ve lived. You’ve changed.

16. You fit your home into a suitcase.

From the moment you squeeze your life into a suitcase (or, if you’re lucky with your airline, two), whatever you thought ‘home’ was doesn’t exist anymore. Almost anything you can touch can be replaced – wherever you travel, you’ll end up stockpiling new clothes, new books, new mugs. But there will come a day when you’ll suddenly feel at home in your new city. Home is the person traveling with you, the people you leave behind, the streets where your life takes place. Home is also the random stuff in your new flat, those things you’ll get rid of in the blink of an eye when the time to leave comes. Home is all those memories, all those long-distance calls with your family and friends, a bunch of pictures. Home is where the heart is.

© LollyJane

17. And… there’s no turning back.

Now you know what it means to give up comfort, what starting from scratch and marveling at the world every day feels like. And it being such a huge, endless world… How could you choose not to keep traveling and discovering it?

Have you ever lived abroad? Is there anything you would add to this list? Drop us a comment and tell us about your experience!

I originally published this article in Spanish a few weeks ago. Lots of people asked for an English version, but please bear in mind English is not my native language and this is only a humble attempt at a translation. I apologise in advance for any mistakes – if there’s anything you’d like to point out, please drop me a comment below. Thank you! Angie

Flat Becca comes to Beijing

When we came home for Christmas, we discovered that one of my cousin's daughters was participating in a school project similar to Flat Stanley. The young daughter created a flat impression of herself called Flat Becca. Below are pictures we took of Flat Becca visiting our friends and neighborhood.

Lunch with Philippinos, a Singaporean, a Frenchman, a Hungarian

Ready for a Chinese New Year celebration

Our local bus stop.
This year we learned how to read the signs and figure out which bus goes where.

A nearby mall

Chinese New Year decorations for sale.

Our local subway station

Which restaurant did we visit?

Buying flower pots & potting soil.

Sanyuanli Market

One Sunday afternoon a friend took us to a food market that we had heard about. It was quite a cultural experience.

 

We wondered how the vendors got into their stall until we noticed the little hole at the bottom.

How did Beijing prepare for winter?

Now that we are celebrating Spring Festival, I thought I would post pictures of how Beijing prepared for winter. Actually I took these photos in December but then got super busy. We feel Spring in the air now with temps consistently in the low 50s F. Maybe our Greenville friends should visit us as I hear they have a Winter Blast.

Waiting at the bus stop after the government turned on the centralized heat (coal).

Every shop has these heavy quilted, insulated curtains over
their doors even when the glass doors close.

Commonly seen electric scooter.

Even elderly women prepare for winter by exercising in the plaza.

What's inside a Toothpaste Tube?

Last night as I lay in bed trying to go to sleep, I did my normal thing. I thought about all kinds of things. I think if all the letters, speeches, talks, posts, entries, reviews I create in my head while trying to go to sleep actually got onto paper, I would have written volumes by now, maybe tomes. How many of the world’s problems, or my own, would have been solved if my unspoken thoughts actually made it out of my head? Maybe none!

One of the things on my mind is why we are here in Beijing. Yesterday was a particularly frustrating day. Mark had plans for the day that didn’t happen because other things took so much longer than expected. He went to prepay the electricity so we don’t run out over Chinese New Year. He went to three different banks, all of which asked for a Chinese bank account atm card, which we don't have. Finally someone at the last bank used his own atm card and Mark gave him the cash instead of the bank directly. We had never had that much difficulty before. Then we went to return Nate & Julia’s vacuum cleaner. We intended to take it back and vacuum their apartment before they returned last night.  We couldn’t get a cab so we ended up carrying the vacuum on the subway. I didn’t think to put it in an IKEA bag so we could carry it easily. I never thought we wouldn’t be able to catch a cab. So we took the subway and when we got to Zhichunli (3 stops from getting on, one stop away from our destination), Mark asked if I had their keys. OOPS, I forgot their keys. So we got off  to decide what to do. Mark really wanted to meet up with Hector. We finally just went back to our apartment and texted Nate & Julia to ask if we can return it Monday. Mark punted meeting Hector. However, Mark carried a bad attitude most of the day.  As we walked back to our  place, I told Mark he needed to lock himself in his room with his Bible and pray and not come out until his attitude changed. Finally he just laid down and took a nap.

 

So why are we here? I think God has us here to sanctify us. The minor point is the ex-pats; the major point is us. Maybe here is the only place God can squeeze us and refill us. I feel like the toothpaste tube that gets squeezed. We know what’s inside only after we squeeze the tube. And it isn’t pretty! Life is hard here. Life is frustrating. Life takes time. We can’t get a cab. We travel an hour almost anywhere we go. Events take longer than we think they should. We get home late many nights. We can't understand the Chinese when we ask them a question.

We have to always come back to whom we serve – ourselves or God. If ourselves, then we get upset when things don’t go the way we want. If God, then His plan is bigger than ours. Life is about Him and His glory, not us. I have to remember that Jesus died for my sins, and I have many. In Jesus, we are totally, completely, thoroughly, eternally forgiven. When life is Romans 7, then I have to press on to Romans 8. I must preach the gospel to myself every day.

Romans 7 ¹⁵ For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. ¹⁶ Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. ¹⁷ So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. ¹⁸ For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. ²¹ So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.²² For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, ²³ but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. ²⁴ Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? ²⁵ Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.  8 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.² For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. ³ For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. (ESV)

Lord, I pray you will keep us here until we are holy. Never let us go. Sanctify us. Use whatever means necessary. And give us your grace through the process.

From Here to There

As Mark & I rode in a taxi last night, I thought of a blog post describing how we get from one place in the city to another place. 

So how do we get from here to there? We now live about 250m further from the bus stop, a total of 500m walk. We walk to the bus stop to catch a bus to the subway. Two buses turn left and go nearest to the subway station. Other buses stop short of the subway station at the main intersection, then we have to cross the intersection one direction then turn 90° and cross another street then walk a bit more to the subway. Other buses turn right, away from the station, and stop further down the street.  We then have to walk to the main intersection and cross twice. Our timeframe and the time of day determine if we catch the first available bus and get off wherever it stops or we wait for one of the two ‘subway’ buses. We also find that the time of day affects the frequency of the buses. Rush hours of course mean that the buses come closer together and we are more likely to catch the appropriate bus. We find that evenings, past suppertime, both buses and taxis don’t come by as often.

Sometimes in an effort to save time, we take a taxi. That works okay if taxis are nearby. Last night we looked for a taxi for about 10 minutes. The downside of taxis is that they use the roads, which means they get caught in the traffic of thousands of vehicles.  Also, it seems that many taxis now rely on a smartphone app so they don’t pick up random passengers. Sometimes we wonder, too, if taxi drivers see us as foreigners and think we don’t know any Chinese or where we want to go. It is fun to see them relax when Mark speaks to them in Chinese.  It's also a great time to practice speaking since most taxi drivers don't know English.  Normally a taxi ride is quicker. I must say that our BJ taxi drivers maneuver the traffic excellently. Their skill amazes us in how they work their way through and around other vehicles. They do things on the road we would never see in the States. Yet they are careful.

We find our most reliable and efficient mode of transportation is still the subway. It’s always on time; it doesn’t have to battle other vehicles; and it goes everywhere in the city. Several notable events took place regarding the subway while we came home to the States. They opened two new lines and are working on a third new line. But the biggest change was the price increase. Up until the end of 2014, one could ride the subway anywhere for any length of time for only 2 yuan (=.33 USD). However, now the price structure incorporates distance. Therefore the shortest trips cost 3 yuan (=.50 USD) and the longest trips cost 7 yuan  (=1.15 USD), an increase of ½-3½ times. Still cheap compared to many cities’ subways, but we find ourselves reloading our prepaid subway cards a lot more often now.

So we are still learning to time our travels to arrive in a timely fashion. We seem to always be late wherever we go. Ughh!