Reflections on Returning - Dec. 2020

DECEMBER 2020

Mark and I have been back in the US for almost 1½ years now. It’s hard to believe. The time has gone by fast, but it’s beginning to feel like home again. Some say “home is where the heart is”. Yet I think a better point of view might be “home is where God has us at this point in time.”

It took us a long while to adjust back to life in America. Some people call it reverse culture shock; maybe a better term is reverse culture adjustment. I expected a rocky re-entry. I had read about it and planned for it. Maybe that’s why I expected the reactions and feelings that we encountered. We just didn’t know what to do with them.

We landed back in the US on July 2, 2019 and took that whole month to try to readjust. We reconnected with our kids by having a family vacation at Smith Mountain Lake in VA, but Mark was anxious to get on with a new life at Grace Baptist Church, our home church of many years. However, six weeks in, he realized he dove in too deep too fast. We pulled back and scheduled re-entry counseling and a trip to see friends that we had known in Beijing. The counseling helped us gain perspective, clear our heads and hearts, and see the parts of readjustment that had to take place. We had to grieve the loss of our Beijing life. We had to go through the chaos of figuring out how to live in the US again. We had to develop new skills. We had to figure out where we belonged. Visiting our friends who had re-entered the US before us helped us talk through all those things with people who understood and “got it”.

The adjustment back really hit hard at times - like eating at Panera Bread or going to Wal-Mart. I couldn’t figure out how to order at Panera. Fast food restaurant choices and menus confused us. In Wal-Mart, I wandered around as if I were lost. I was!   

Our first Easter home some friends staying with us asked how we normally celebrated Easter. I didn’t know anymore. All my props were gone. I had given away our 12 Days of Easter (aka Resurrection Eggs) supplies; I had no Easter baskets or visual reminders of Jesus’ death and resurrection. I floundered but cooked a new menu that didn’t really reflect who we were. I was lost – again.

Mark and I often talk about the things we miss from Beijing that are so foreign to life in the US. Like the two produce shops in our complex where we could buy so many varieties of fruits and vegetables. Like the convenient and efficient public transportation. Like the ability to walk to a grocery store or a restaurant or a park. Like the constant stream of people outside. Like the dancers in the parks. In our town, we don’t have any of those things. We felt lost – again.

As I talked with people and re-built friendships here, I often exclaimed “I’m a mess.” No one understood what I meant. They all said, “No you’re not. You’re fine.” Neither Mark nor I were fine; we were lost in a familiar but unfamiliar place.

But the grace of God and time have smoothed out adjustment wrinkles. During that time, I often reflected on God’s never-ending, steadfast, covenant love, and faithfulness. He never leaves His people and He wouldn’t leave us floundering. He was (and IS) the sure and steady anchor for our souls.

We feel like we are beginning to find our US “sea legs.” When God unexpectedly took us out of a place and work that He sent us to and that we loved, He opened other doors of work and ministry here. Because of our experience living overseas, God has broadened our vision and perspective. We now see internationals and other cultures all around us. We make international friends at the YMCA. We cross cultures with our local neighbors, and we journey across oceans to train Christian leaders.

Just before we left Beijing, we met an incoming university freshman who planned to come to our town. When she came, she introduced us to many of her international friends. That one introduction opened up a whole new opportunity for us. God has allowed us to use our home in ways we never imagined. Hospitality has always been a part of our life, but this new opportunity led to long-term hospitality. We have had the privilege of hosting several international students when they needed off-campus housing. These students have blessed us with their lives and conversations. We have great conversations at the dinner table and just by living life together. The Lord has also had to teach us to grow in patience and understanding in ways we didn’t expect. Our hearts and home are full again for which we are thankful to the Lord!

Although we didn’t know it at the time, we see and appreciate God’s sovereignty in the timing of His bringing us back to the US. Through some aggressive treatments, Cheryl’s lung health is back to (her) normal. Just in time to be healthy in the COVID environment. We thank the Lord often for that provision. It’s a reminder that God knows what He is doing even when we don’t.

Recently Mark and I traveled to Myrtle Beach to see friends that lived across the street from us in Beijing. How good it was to be with them, reminisce, reflect, and hear how God is still at work. We will always share a special bond with our Beijing friends, no matter where in the world we all are.

In the meantime, life goes on. In 2020, both Brent & Kristen and James & Amy celebrated 5 years of marriage. We rejoiced as Philip married Amy Victoria (the second Mrs. Amy Hatfield) in May during the coronavirus restrictions. Alicia bought her first home, a townhouse nearby. And we all anticipate the birth of a second Odom little girl next February.

As we reflect on the past year and a half, we thank the Lord for His kindness, faithfulness, and wisdom. It makes us worship Him more fully. Therefore, this season of Christmas helps us refocus on Christ’s incarnation and coming to earth as the perfect God-Man to save us from our sins. We need Him. He gives us eternal hope.

Loving people left behind - Leaving a task unfinished

On July 2, 2019, after almost six years in Beijing, Mark and I will move back to the US. We are in the process of selling our possessions, closing out our apartment, and saying goodbye to people we love in Beijing, China.

How does one leave the mission field? We never called ourselves missionaries because Mark pastored an established international church in Beijing. We did not go to Beijing to start something new, to plant a new church, but to carry on something already established – to encourage, to teach, to disciple, to evangelize internationals living in Beijing.

It really feels strange to be returning to our US home. Although Mark initially committed to two years as an interim pastor, we fell in love with the people, the intimacy, the diversity, the broadness, the adventure, etc. – everything that makes up serving the Lord in a foreign, urban megacity. On one level, we do not want to leave Beijing. We feel like we are leaving people that we love behind. We feel like we are leaving a task unfinished.

For example, one Sunday several months ago, we had a brief conversation with a shy, quiet family whom I thought would be the kind to pop in and pop out, people who would just come to observe but not appreciate the teaching or participate in church life. How wrong I was. Not long after we met them, they told us they planned to move to another city. Yet, they confessed that after being at BBC for several months, they wish they were not leaving. At BBC, they discovered a gospel-based, intentional church that they want to participate in.

In addition, I look around BBC and see God working in so many of our people. People study God’s Word on their own initiative. For example, Hutch gathered Oliver and Emmanuel both from Liberia to study the book of Romans. Young men from various countries came to our home to study biblical manhood. Viktor from Belarus reached out to many Russian-speakers in the city and invited some to BBC. The community groups gathered and gelled as a way to build Christian fellowship. Often I can walk into BBC and sense the deepening walk with the Lord – an ongoing answer to prayer.

These situations remind us that we leave a task unfinished. It reminds us that we leave behind people that we love and appreciate. A few people, like Ashley, came to BBC at the same time we did. We’ve known her and walked the Christian life with her for almost six years. We met the Gonzalez family during our first year and have walked beside them in their Christian faith, discussing faith, marriage, parenting, etc. We have rejoiced to see God work in parents to bring the gospel to their families and children grow in knowledge and obedience of the Lord. We have watched with awe as God saves people from their sin, and they hunger and thirst for righteousness and Christian fellowship. I can’t name everyone whom we love and will miss; there are too many.

How do we walk away from ministry here? I know others have done it and will always leave a field for various reasons. I know that the Church is God’s Church, not ours, and he will not let the gates of hell prevail against it. He will not let it fail. Yet we have felt privileged to participate in this part of his Church.

Mark says that he can help GBC. Of course, he can. He would benefit and provide structure and strategy any place he landed. At the moment, it feels like we are quitting while the going is good – while God is working. I feel like we are walking away from God’s calling here. God obviously is opening the door for us to return yet it feels empty, simple, and backward – like leaving loved ones behind, like leaving a task unfinished.

Pray for Beijing Baptist Church as they search for a new pastor. Pray for us as we face a new season of trusting the Lord and transitioning back to our passport country.

2019 Beijing Baptist Church Retreat

In early June, Beijing Baptist Church held its sixth annual all-church retreat. Along with heartfelt singing, teaching on intimacy with God, and relaxed fellowship, five people received the joy of baptism. The children heard lessons centered around John 14:6 where Jesus said "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me."

People Stories - Stefan & Carisha

It wasn’t only Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome who got up very early one Sunday morning looking for Jesus.

Easter morning a few weeks ago, a young couple from Tianjin came to Beijing Baptist Church. What a delight to meet Stefan & Carisha from South Africa. As we got to know them more over lunch, among the laughter and tears, they told us their story.

After living together for several years as non-Christians, they broke off their relationship and went their own ways. Eventually, they both came to know the Lord separately around Eastertime 2018 and later realized they really loved each other and wanted to be together. They married in the Lord November 2018 and moved to China a few weeks later.

We met them after they had lived in Tianjin for about four months but had become spiritually dry for lack of Christian teaching and fellowship. Because they so hungered for biblical teaching and hadn’t yet found a church close to them, they searched the internet for a church in Beijing and found Beijing Baptist Church. So on Easter morning, like the women on the very first Resurrection Day, they woke up early “towards dawn of the first day of the week” and left Tianjin (5:30am) to travel via bus, subway, fast train, and another subway to Beijing Baptist Church. They arrived at BBC at 9:30am, in time for some pre-service coffee and fellowship. They soaked in the teaching and fellowship at BBC that Easter Sunday and we have stayed in touch since then.

Like so many people seeking job opportunities in China, they teach English but discovered their recruiting agency and school not as scrupulous as originally presented. Having experienced so many new things in the last year, they are learning how to walk with Christ and apply His Word to their life, work, and marriage.

People Stories - the P family

One day about a year ago as we walked in our nearby fitness park, we stopped into the little flower shop at the end of the park to browse and admire their offerings. While there, we met a mom, dad, and two young children with whom we attempted to practice our Chinese. Among the blank stares of the children, we learned the family actually moved here from Australia so they spoke perfect English even though they have Korean and Chinese backgrounds. In our conversation, we learned that at that time they lived in our same apartment complex in the building across from us. So we gave them our business card, told them to call us if they needed anything, and went on our way. In God’s providence, we met them at the park but never saw them again.

Fast forward to Saturday, May 4 about 9:30pm when Mark received a phone call. “I want to be baptized. I need the Holy Spirit,” pleaded the male voice on the other end of the line. “Who is this?” Mark replied. It turns out God had been working in this Korean dad’s heart and when he found Mark’s business card called him up late that Saturday night.

Thus began several conversations with HW and WH about the meanings of conversion and salvation, Christianity, baptism, and the Holy Spirit. We see God moving in the hearts of this lovely couple. Not only have we have had personal conversations, but they have also come to church with us and plan to join us on our annual church retreat.

Please pray with us that they would believe in the name of God’s Son Jesus Christ for salvation.

People Stories - Harry & Alpha

June 2017

Harry & Alpha

We met Harry from the Philippines in the spring of 2014. Although he worshipped at Beijing Baptist Church from the time of his arrival in Beijing, we first had extended time with him over dinner in our borrowed apartment in the fall of 2014. We gathered around the kitchen table over a meal, seeking to build a closer relationship with him. We shared food, conversation, and piano music. At that dinner table, Harry confessed that he didn’t ‘get’ Americans. Americans living overseas have a tendency to appear driven, independent, brash, and focused, whereas Asians tend to function as a community, defer to others, and speak indirectly. At that time, we all were still learning how to be comfortable with each other’s cultures and expectations.

In late spring 2017, Harry mentioned that he appreciated that he stuck with Beijing Baptist Church. We rejoice to see how God used BBC to help him (and his wife) grow in the Lord. Harry came to our Guys’ Nights of dinner and discipleship when he could, attended the monthly Masculine Mandate study, and participated in the Doctrine Forum that studied the 1689 Confession of Faith.

Mark and I also joyfully watched him develop a relationship with his now-wife Alpha. We met Alpha in January 2017 when she visited Beijing before their marriage and her move to Beijing. We heard her story of how God has worked in her life, and how she and Harry met. After Alpha lived in German-speaking Switzerland for a time, she returned to her native Philippines where she founded a school for nurses to learn German so they could seek better job opportunities in Europe.

Harry and Alpha unexpectedly returned to the Philippines in the fall of 2018 and now seek the Lord’s next step in their life. In the meantime, they will attend Bob Jones University’s graduation this weekend where Harry will receive his Master of Education. They look forward to visiting Greenville, meeting our SC friends, and worshipping with our home church.

Please pray for them as they seek the Lord’s leading in their lives, work, and ministry.

BBC's first ever 5K Spring Run

Mark, ever the promoter and organizer, came up with the idea to have a 5K run to build unity and fellowship within BBC. Of course, not everyone runs, so we encouraged those who don't run to come to cheer the runners on, fellowship with people, and consider sponsoring a runner for a worthy cause. After explaining to the non-Americans what it means to 'sponsor' a runner, we then set a goal to raise 1000RMB to supply the Liberian home church of one of our BBC members with hymnals, which we exceeded!  

The Group

Studying the route

And they're off!

First across the finish line

Oliver from Liberia whose home church will receive hymnals

Even a partially paralyzed older man can walk a 5K!